Disclaimer- This is a fun blog meant for a few laughs to lighten this serious business called life. The writer has love and respect for all communities and persons, so no judgements and holier-than- thou comments please.
Can we be friends with our Ex?
This topic has been a very interesting one for me to think through.
As you all know by now I live on Planet Gurgaon and it is full of good looking people, boys and girls, men and women.
Smart, sexy, doing well for themselves, some believing they are doing well, if they manage to wriggle a few freebies out of others.
Now, on this happening planet and because of all these beautiful people it is but natural that there are relationships aplenty… people hooking up, falling in love, breaking up, all the time. That’s why I call it a planet in fact. It has it’s own biome, own species of plants and animals. Heck even the humans here are like no other.
So since there are hook-ups and relationships aplenty, there are break ups aplenty as well.
Because one party always forgets the rules of a fling and gets emotionally attached with all their heart. The other party is only attached to…..well….other parts.
So the other day my friend came crying to me at 2 A.M.… a perfectly normal hour to have a break down… you are all alone at your apartment, your thoughts are running a marathon in your head about the sexathons you had together, your friends are out having fun, …..
So this girlfriend of mine …. Lets call her Miss X… banged on my door at this hour crying, in emotional agony. I promptly invited her in coz I could sense she needed a shoulder to cry on and a tall glass of vodka to cry into. And that’s what good friends do… when your heart breaks, they promptly provide the alcohol.
Between sobs and shots she started pouring her heart out. She had an affair with someone she met at a ladies night in one of the pubs in Gurgaon and quicker than she could say quickie, they broke up.
I helped her through her grieving period which thankfully lasted a short while, even shorter than the said affair…
After a few days she called again… this time more in control of the situation and even, dare I say, a little excited.
Before I could as much as say “casual fling” she dropped a bomb question on me.
“Should I be friends with my Ex?”
Well…. I told her I would have to think this through. And think I did. For a couple of nights and days.
Then I let it simmer….
SHOULD WE BE FRIENDS WITH OUR EX?
If yes what are the rules of friendship going forward?…. well that’s the topic of the next blog.
I cannot speak for everyone but I am pretty certain that I can never be friends with a guy I was in love with once upon a time and later broke up with.
It’s pretty obvious to me that if I was the one to break up he must have had a habit or done something pretty drastic for me to call it quits… so if I could not excuse that behavior earlier how can I overlook it now?
If he broke up with me, God help him, I will never want to see his face again.
So in both the cases remaining friends after a break up is out of question.
If any of my exes comes face to face with me, they will be treated to such a cold stare that Antartica will feel like a warm, cosy paradise in comparison. This will be promptly followed by me looking in every other direction except his and quickly walking away in the opposite direction as fast as the laws of gravity or my high heels will allow it.
As for others I am not sure how they handle it.
I guess some people can find it in their hearts to forgive, forget and move on… and remain friends, even meeting up for a coffee once in a while. I wonder what they talk about when they meet. ‘Hi, long time no see, no do. You were an asshole to me. Well…How are the wife and kids?”
A girlfriend of mine decides whether she will remain friends with her ex or not basis the reason for the break up. If it was something like his moving to another town for a job, or to take care of parents etc, she stays friends. But if the reason for a break up was more serious like, he cheated on her or was abusive, well that’s the end of it. It’s tata, ciao and a “I hope you rot in hell’ situation.
Another girlfriend can actually break up, remain friends with her ex ,and still hook up with him once in a while or as her biological clock wishes… and not get emotions in the way… well way to go girl.. I root for you.
So I guess we all have our ways of dealing with break ups as well as reasons why we do what we do post break up, but one thing we all agree on in this situation is…..
It’s best if a heart doesn’t have to be broken.
How do you deal with your Ex post break up? Feel free to write in…
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The other day a friend came crying to me