Disclaimer: This blog is for entertainment purposes only. The writer has love and respect for all communities and people, so no judgement and holier than thou comments please. Enjoy the blog.
Hi loves, hope you all are staying home and keeping yourself and others safe. These are unprecedented times (at least in the near past), but they will pass. Faith- in God, our government and our humanity will see us through this.
In this time, when we are isolated from friends, family and loved ones, living in our own homes, the internet has come to our rescue in more ways than one. Suddenly its our new best friend. The World Wide Web is everyone’s happy place. It is the modern day Santa Claus, bringing us gifts ranging from the World News to yummy food recipes to keep our kids tummies full to video chatting with everyone, health apps to stay healthy at home, home delivery services though limited. Among all these fabulous gifts of joy the net brings us daily, one particular one that stands out for me is the hundreds of home workout videos people are posting on all known Social media these days.
There are a lot of videos, memes and other content being posted on Facebook, Instagram and other social media. Tik Tok has some really creative people who could have given Mr Charlie Chaplin a run for his money. May his soul RIP.
Among all this content my attention is particularly drawn to the “Work Out At Home” videos being posted by fitness enthusiasts on a daily basis. Suddenly it seems like everyone is a self proclaimed fitness instructor. They are all over this virtual gym, jumping at us from Instagram stories, FB and what not.
Now, please don’t get me wrong but I am one of those people who exercise to stay fit, who exercise so they don’t fall sick. Who exercise but never with a smile, in fact I have invented a few cuss words just coz the ones we know do not describe my feelings well enough while exercising. Suffice to say, I workout just enough that I don’t die an early death.
I open Facebook and suddenly I see someone in workout gear, doing burpees, all pimped up and sipping on their protein shake, counting to 8 and then backwards if you please, as I sit in my pyjamas drinking shocking amounts of caffine.
As if the Covid is not making me feel bad enough I now have to deal with these people. Hey cut me some slack. It is tough enough as it is ….don’t make me feel worse.
Just yesterday I was scrolling through the Instagram stories of one of my friends, just so that I could feel happy and connected, when I came across a workout video of hers, doing lunges in her balcony. Oh yes! LEG LUNGES. All the way from one end of her balcony to the other. Needless to say, I felt depressed and unhappy and felt some relief only once I had “unfollowed” her.
Instagram is full of stories of people working out in their bedrooms, balconies, on a 6 by 2 mat and if nothing else is available, just on bare floors. Did I mention that if weights are not available, now you can’t even use that as an excuse. I have a you tuber happily yelling out information that I can use my own body weight to exercise. Yay. Fucking Yay.
Social media has these pics all over. Heck some people post a daily pic of before and after a workout. A daily one. Really? Buddy unless you are Dwayne the God Johnson, you look the same even after a week of workout.
There are burpees flying at you, the inchworm walk, inching up on you, raising your guilt pangs times 100. The worse are the squats. My eternal nemesis. I have still not mastered the correct way to do these despite trying for years. How do you pretend to sit on a chair which is not there and not actually fall backwards? No really. How?
Oh and I saw another friend on FB pushing her living room furniture around to do an upper body workout. Yes. I had to rub my eyes a couple of times, sit up straight, pinch myself till I drew out my own blood then realized it wasn’t a dream. This was actually her idea of fun and she was so happy to share it with others. Almost as happy as lord Krishna was when he shared life knowledge with Arjun on the battlefield amid a few thousand soldiers trying to kill them in the Mahabharata. Did I mention I have Unfriended her on Social Media and am seriously thinking of doing the same in real life. If you are going to make me feel worse about myself, I don’t need you. My maids and kids are doing a damn good job of it already.
Feeling even worse about myself for not exercising, I thought of having a chat with my friends on one of my whatapp groups. I had barely finished saying hello, and a very dear friend put up a short video of mopping her home in a miniskirt. A workout plus a clean house. Two in one she said. Another delete from my contact list.
Tik Tok, Youtube and other media are no less. Everyday there are at least 10 videos in my feed telling me that I need not get worried about the gym being closed. I can workout from the comfort of my home. I was like….. really? Do people get worried if they can’t go to the gym. I generally get worried if I cant go to the loo or the fridge. Or to ZARA.
Well, one morning I got highly motivated and decided to shape up my life and booty. So I wore my gym leggings that promised to shape my butt and make it look better. At this point I wondered why I needed to workout if these leggings already existed and could lift my ass up a couple of inches. Anyways, out came the Nike sports bra from its hole in the wardrobe. Had to dust off little particles of dust from it before wearing it. I put on my music and headphone but it’s battery decided that this was the perfect time to die out. This needs a lot more preparation I realized.
Well, I have seriously had enough of these workout videos. Maybe I will feel differently tomorrow and go back to my exercise mat (yes I have one despite all the bitching about exercising) and try again.
But for now, the box of donuts on the dining table is winning the war against washboard abs.
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can use your own body weight to exercise, . i KNOW that pal. already. i am not interested. period.
look I lok at it like this, the world is in shock, we dont know what has hit us. ita tough times for everyone. we are alllocked up in our houses. suddenly FB, Instagram, the internet , all of it, is our new best friend, our souce of connectivity to the world. the one thing keeping us together in this time of Social Distancing. when i log on to these media I wanna see good news and thingsd that make me geel good, in an otherwise bad scaenario.
